GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
