i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize