My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize