i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
