the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i think i just lost a toe
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
