ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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