Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
