So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
