Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
