Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize