Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
