Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's shark week go big or go home
Dick very happy bro
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
