if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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