Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize