Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When are your genitals available?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
