I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
