No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
