ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
