Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
