what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
