i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
