woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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