Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
