It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
