therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize