Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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