so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize