found the other keg... it's in the tree
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
