my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize