not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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