I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
