Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
