and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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