Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
