I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My pussy is not your playground.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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