I hate your face
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Please don't give away my fajitas
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