What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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