I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
