Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
