No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
