I never want to see another naked old woman again.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
