Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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