you mean i was at the winter classic?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
