i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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