what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
