I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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