at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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