thus making me awesome and them whores
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
