You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
