After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
