can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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