I wish you could order shots online.
this boner is exhausting
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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