i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
