Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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