i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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