So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
