Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
