We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
