I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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