the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
