Sponge bath it is.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
