Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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