That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just invented taco cereal.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
