So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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