Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
