you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We had to coat check the pizza.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
