Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
