Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You are a genius and a whore.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
