Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
