we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
