I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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