I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize