thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
