shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
