I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
